The Magic of the Holidays

 

 

I am very thankful that our families live so close to each other.

We were able to celebrate both Christmas Eve and 

Christmas Day with both of our families.

It was nice to be able to Skype both my sister and Jen's brother

who are both on missions right now.

We didn't have to stress about one of our families feeling left out and ignored, 

and I have been able to do fun brother stuff with my older brother.

 

I've always loved Christmas. There's something special and magical

about Christmas. We watched some old family movies from Christmas past.

I continually had a HUGE smile on my chubby cheeks. 

I learned from the movies that I was a lot bigger than I though I was as a child.

Intriguing....

 

 

So New Years.....

We spent New Years Eve at my families house. I made pizza crust and my brother and some friends 

piled on the toppings.

 

We watched the"Rockin New Years" show on T.V. 

Holy Crap!! Could that be a worse broadcast? The musical talent was well, talentless.

I'm glad they brought Jennifer McCarthy out from her cryogenic freezer to make a 

horrid slutty appearance. That poor serviceman that she mouth raped...I'm pretty sure once the camera was off she told him to get tested for one of her STDs.

 

So I waited for forever for the ball to drop and to ring in the new year. 

We had the bubbly (Martinelli's) ready to go and toasts prepared.

I could not have been more excited.

So when I sire children and they ask me to reminisce and tell them

where I was when 2012 came to anticlimactic end due to the lack of an apocalypse

and 2013 came roaring into life,

I will be able to proudly and lovingly tell them I was plunging the toilet when 

the clock stroke 12.

 Magical.

Nocturnal Adventures

Nocturnal Adventures!!!

Some of you may know this already but,

I...sleepwalk. (Somnambulism)

It used to not happen a lot, but recently it has been happening more and more often.

Sleep walking normally happens between phases one and two of NREM sleep. 

Or if life hates you and wants to screw with you....

So here are a few stories of things I have been found doing whilest asleep.

A few times, Jen has woken up and found me sitting upright on the side of the bed

mumbling nonsense. She kindly pulls me back in bed and that's it. 

Other times have not been so lucky.

Jen once found me standing in the living room leaning against the wall with my head. 

Apparently I was also eating a pickle.

Jen also found me standing in the doorway to the kitchen just standing thee awkwardly. She says I looked possessed and that I looked right at her but didn't recognize her. Like I was just looking at her. Apprently I had a really scary facial expression. She was a little scared until

I walked right into a wall.... with force.

These all happened to a few months ago. But the last couple weeks has been more active.

I woke myself up during the encounter and this is how I found myself...

I woke up sitting at the computer desk with a hand full of goldfish crackers.

I woke up sitting on the oven eating a granola bar.

Last night, I woke up standing in the bathroom with a cup of water. Seems innocent enough,

but the I had was the cup that Jen uses to catch her urine to check for ovulation surges...

I still don't know how much if any water I drank from her pee cup.

The best story happened a few years ago. My sleepwalking usually coincides with stress,

and if you know much about Our dating life, you would know there were some stressful situations.

So I was wicked stressed with work and Jen and such one night when I laid to sleep wearing my normal pajamas of just my underwear. 

 A little while later I was slowly waking up in a totally different place and in a totally different situation.

Things started to dawn on my little by little starting with my feet and working their way up.

I realized I was now wearing slippers and that my feet were cold and wet. 

I was also wearing basketball shorts and a t-shirts, only my shorts were only pulled halfway up.

I looked around and saw that I was outside somewhere and no idea where I was.

I then realized I was squatting, IN A POND up to my calves.

And the reason my shorts were only half way up was because...

I WAS POOPING!!!.

So I finished up my business and decided to figure out where the heck I was. There was just barely enough moon out (No pun intended) to make out a house in front of me. It was my neighbors house, and even though my family owned beach rights to the pond, the neighbor hated it when we walked through her backyard to get to the pond.

I wonder how she would have felt about me defecating back there....

Anywho, I made way back home and went back to sleep.

I told my brother Josh about the experience and after a good laugh became pretty worried about it. So he made me start putting a big wooden arm chair in front of my door at night. A few nights later I woke up on all fours trying to push the chair out of the way with my head, 

like I was a triceratops or something. 

Those are pretty much the best stories.

What Ive learned from this is that whatever you can do awake, you can do asleep. 

Eating, driving, cooking, using knives (which is what scares Jen the most). 

It may seem funny and I do have some funny stories, 

but its pretty dangerous and is really scary and freaky when you wake up and realize what has happened.

 

Before and after

As stated in my first Blog post, one of the reasons I am doing this is to

chronicle my weight loss. 

Here are some "Before" pictures taken a little over a year ago.

In the second one you can also tell what happens when EMT's get bored....

The third one includes some of the things I love most in the world; Jen, The Red Sox, and Fenway Park

These were some pictures we took when we got engaged.

 Looking at these pictures legit makes me wanna puke. I can't believe I was really that fluffy.

So now for some more recent "After" pictures....

 So there it is!

I started about 15 months ago and have lost 167 pounds.

I wore a 3x shirt, now I wear a large.

I wore an 18.5 /19 dress shirt now I wear a 16.5/17

I was a 48/50 waist now I'm a 34/36.

Big differences.

Now I have massive relief society arms and my neck looks like an iguana.

Just a small price to pay for living longer and being around for my family.

 

Culinary Adventures

I would love to take the easy way out of cooking and just buy store bought foods...

BUT!!! Jen says its cheaper to make it. 

Here are a few pictures of some the stuff I've been cooking up

I also make all of our tortillias, What a pain. But we just bought a tortillia press, and I can't wait for it to arrive.

 Sourdough! Easily my favorite source of carbohydrates. 

My mother figure bought me a great starter, Jen says I use it too much.

About every two weeks I make whole wheat bread for Jen. 

She uses it every morning for breakfast. 

This reminds me, it's time to make more.

 

This is what I have been using lately for flour. 

It is a wheat grinder attachment for the Kitchenaid.

It works pretty well, the flour isn't as smooth and fine as store bought, but it tastes pretty good.

The grinder is super loud and annoying, and takes awhile, but it is worthwhile. 

 I would be remiss if I didn't include these. Cheesecake. 

I grew up watching my Dad make cheesecake for special occasions and always wanted to make one like He used to. 

This was my second attempt. If you notice, the chocolate chips on the side are laid perfectly on the cake.

I placed each one individually. 

I have lucky friends.

Grinding My Gears

This weekend is the annual Lone Star Rally. It is the ultimate display of redneckery. It is the nation's largest weekend bike rally. So for the last three days and for tomorrow, there are motorcycles literally everywhere I turn. They think they own the flipping island! They park their "Iron Horses" on the sidewalks and on the walkways to stores. So annoying. The entire downtown area is sectioned off for the rally for the vendors and such. I can just imagine the amount of beer being consumed, which only leads to more moments in the redneck hall of fame. I'm not saying that all motorcycle riders are rednecks, but these here people is, I tell you what. They all seem to be in their 40's-60's and think the Vietnam War just ended. I haven't heard so much Jimmy Hendrix music since I stopped smoking pot. (Which I haven't don't before Bishop.) The crowning event is the "Promenade," where all the riders dress up in costumes and ride around the city. Really? Promenade? You couldn't think of a gayer name?
     What really bothers me is the stupidity of these guests to our island city. They are the most reckless drivers and have no consideration to cars. They never signal which I would think would be of up most importance considering they are on a bike and no one knows what they are doing! Whizzing in between cars and cutting people off just so they can get to the bar or Chili's faster. And why is it that none of them wear a helmet?! I would guess that nearly 1 in 20 has a helmet. And that is including the ones that have helmets but elect to use them as a decoration hanging from the side of their bike rather than wear them. 500,000 riders are projected to come this weekend. I wonder how many of them will make it home. I know at least two won't be. I quote from the local newspaper:

"GALVESTON COUNTY, Texas -- Two people died and another was injured in two separate crashes at a motorcycle rally in Galveston County.
Both crashes happened at the Lone Star Rally on Friday. Galveston police said Guy Dale Stratton, 51, crashed into a school bus at 3:50 p.m. in the 1200 block of 26th Street.Stratton was pinned underneath the bus. He was taken to the University of Texas Medical Branch in critical condition.Investigators said Stratton failed to stop at a stop sign. Investigators have not said whether alcohol was a factor in the crash. In a second crash at 10 p.m. in the 7800 block of I-45 North, two people were killed. Witnesses told police the motorcycle they were riding was traveling at a high rate of speed when it hit the curb, causing the driver to lose control.The names of the victims were not immediately released, but police said they were a 34-year-old man and a 27-year-old woman who appeared to be husband and wife. Neither victim was wearing a helmet."   This was from yesterday's paper.  Today, Jen and I where on our way home from the temple and as soon as we got back into Galveston we saw another accident. I am nearly positive the guy died. Working as an EMT, I have seen a few motorcycle accidents. None of them were pretty and all of them disturbed me. This guy I saw laying on the asphalt today was by far the worse trauma patient I have ever seen. He probably would have turned out better and maybe even lived if he was wearing a helmet. Sometimes, I hate Free Agency.

My Life in a Nutshell

I grew up in Southern California. I would elaborate on that but thumpers mother said that "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all." Normally I don't follow this advice but California has become a crap hole. Suffice it to say, I am a product of my environment and it takes people awhile to get my sense of humor and sarcasm. I served a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, in North Carolina. While I was on my mission my family moved to Littleton Massachusetts which is where my Mother grew up. I returned from my mission and lived for the the next four years there in Littleton. I love it there and miss it a lot. But this was not so at first. I hated it when I first moved to Littleton. I missed my old friends and things that were familiar. I soon fell in love with seasons, all though I hate Satan Season A.K.A. Winter.  Snow is pretty and all, but snow removal sucks above all that is sucky. I almost left MA a few times, but I am so happy I didn't leave. If I had, I wouldn't have met my beautiful wife who is reading over my shoulder. I also made a lot of really good friends like Joe Carl who will probably never read this cause according to him, Im, lame for blogging. Can't say that I blame him.
    So now I am living in Galveston, Texas. Jen and I moved here a few days after we got married so Jen could go to Medical school. That's right, My Wife, not I is in Med school. Do I feel intimidated by it? Of course I do. Oh well, I will just ride her coat tails and be a happy house wife eating bon-bon's all day and not have a care in the world. Not true, I am trying to get into a Nursing School so I can reach my dream job of being a Flight Nurse. I have been an EMT for the last 3 years and I love it. However the pay for EMT's is quite meager. That is a rant for another day though. I just found out today that the great state of Texas decided to give me my Texas EMT license based on having licensure elsewhere. But it took a lot of hurdles to jump first. I hate government agencies and their money gouging. 
   So there you have it. My life in a nutshell.

Blogs?

 I never thought I would start a blog. In fact, I have only really read one blog before (Kaleena's blog). The other night my wife Jen and I were at a Halloween party with some other couples from church and they suggested I start a blog. At first I thought it was ridiculous but once I started thinking about it, the idea seemed more and more entertaining. Here are some reasons why I thought of starting one: 1) Blogging to me seems more of a housewife thing to do, and since that is pretty much what I am, it is befitting that I blog. 2) It is a good venue to rant and rave and remain anonymous. 3) My family has been urging me to start one to catalog my weight loss. 4) Blogging is all the rage in Mormon culture these days so I'm jumping on the bad wagon.
    Jen says I have to keep it "appropriate" so I will try my best. She should probably proofread my posts first. But of course I will post things without her approval if I find it funny enough.